Just for the record, it’s not Dick Clark. I’m the world’s oldest teenager.

For the past few months I’ve suddenly become everyone’s last minute babysitter. “It’s our date night; can you sit for the kids?” “We have tickets to the theater, any chance the twins can spend the night?” Or my personal favorite, “I didn’t think you had any plans, can Sasha stay for dinner?”

Hey I get it, I’m a single white female but that doesn’t mean I’m opening a youth hostel. These folks are either highly insensitive or grossly negligent to be leaving their kids with me. Hello, I’m the Mom who keeps soda in the fridge? This is the best incentive I ever needed for dating.

If sitting at home feeling sorry for myself means listening to someone else’s kid demand I cut the crusts off their sandwich…I will date every available man in a twenty mile radius. As long as he’s got a drivers license and can make his own grilled cheese.