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Posts:
276
Registered:
2/27/08
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Re: Trouble as a single mom
Apr 11, 2008 6:52 AM
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There could be many reasons why your son wants to live with his dad and I have been through this same thing, it's not easy. A child often sees less rules in one home over the other. They miss their other parent and even at such young ages some children see the single parent as the stronger parent able to care for themselves. It doesn't mean we are a bad parent or our child(ren) don't love us. My suggestion would be if you are considering allowing your son the opportunity to live with dad and step-mom, have a real sit down heart to heart with your ex and his wife about boundaries and your goals for your son. Another suggestion and what I hope are words of wisdom, let him go on a "trial base" and be very clear in this. In an effort to secure the best for my son, if he needed medical attention, picked up from school sick, to cover my exes butt in the event he was questioned why our son was with him; I gave written permission that our son was to be in his care. What I neglected to do in my notarized paper was to specify "a month". Consult legal advise, as I found myself fighting to get my son back and it took me a year to do so. That omittence of a time frame depending on what state your live in, is the same as transferring physical custody to the other parent.
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Posts:
140
Registered:
2/6/08
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Re: Trouble as a single mom
Apr 9, 2008 6:38 AM
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My guess is dad does not provide the boundaries he needs and he feels like he can get away with anything there. I agree he will realize with time that mom is truly wonderful and he is very lucky to have you as his mom. I would also not bad talk about the step mom and be very friendly with her. Keep us posted how it is going from time to time. Hang in there!
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Posts:
1
Registered:
4/8/08
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Re: Trouble as a single mom
Apr 8, 2008 8:22 PM
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I know it is hard to hear but be patient!! He will change his mind. Try and utilize her need to be heavily involved in his life. I know it is hard but try and see it as a positive move for his better benefit. If he notices your irritation toward her he will only drift closer to her and farther from you. She might just be trying to relieve some of the pressures of all your responsibility. It is so important to put the ball in your court. Guide her for your plan. Don't leave anything or any purpose open to interpretation. All moves and plans for your son are directed by you with the appreciation that she is willing to give the support to you to give him the best care possible. She will either back off or feel more comfortable around you. Both of which are a good thing. He is your son!! Right now he is just figuring out his world and his boundries. He loves you the most out of anyone in the world even his dad. Don't ever forget that. You will be fine as long as you are the one guideing not anyone else.
Good Luck!!!
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Posts:
1
Registered:
2/18/08
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Feb 18, 2008 1:34 PM
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My son, who is now 8 yrs. old, get's everything he wants from me, Love, Attention, toys and expensive games. His father (ex-husband) has been serving in Iraq for the last 7 months and has just arrived back home. My son is now breaking my heart by telling me he doesn't want to live with me anymore and it's making me so sad I either want to ring his neck, because he doesn't realize how lucky he is to have me or cry because I'm so hurt that he feels that way and it makes me feel like I'm a horrible mother and one thing that doesn't help is he's got a stepmom who seems to be wanting to take over and be his real mother, it's driving me insane, but I'm trying to keep the peace. Stressed out is an understatement. I'm trying to balance work, school, and my son. I have no time to date or surf anymore. What to do, what to do. Trying to be optomistic without looking like a fool. Thanks for listening. Look at my beautiful little man.
Amber K. Ohai
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